Two and a Half Men - Season 1
Run Time: mins
Air Date: Mon, 22 Sept 2003
Average Rating: ⭐ 7.45 (3373 votes)
CBS24 Episodes
Pilot
Season 1 - Episode 1
Carefree jingle writer Charlie Harper has his lifestyle altered when his uptight brother and his 10-year-old nephew move in with him.
Big Flappy Bastards
Season 1 - Episode 2
Despite warnings from Charlie, Jake continues to feed seagulls on the deck and the birds invade the house. Meanwhile, Charlie thinks Judith ...
Go East on Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of Hell
Season 1 - Episode 3
Jake wants to go home to his mom after he gets sick, prompting Alan to think he's a failure as a husband and now as a father.
If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song, I'm Going to Take a Nap
Season 1 - Episode 4
Charlie can't function when his housekeeper storms off because of Alan's constant complaints, so Alan tries desperately to woo her back. Mea...
The Last Thing You Want Is to Wind Up with a Hump
Season 1 - Episode 5
Alan and Charlie have encounters with some highly libidinous soccer moms, but with two very different outcomes.
Did You Check With the Captain of the Flying Monkeys?
Season 1 - Episode 6
The guys go to Evelyn's house to meet the new man she's dating, and Charlie realizes the man's daughter is a woman he's trying to avoid.
If They Do Go Either Way, They're Usually Fake
Season 1 - Episode 7
Judith is upset with Alan and Charlie when she learns that a surfer who uses Charlie's shower walks around half naked in front of Jake . The...
Twenty-Five Little Pre-Pubers Without a Snoot-Ful
Season 1 - Episode 8
Alan tricks Charlie into joining him and Judith in leading Jake and his classmates in the school's annual music show.
Phase One, Complete
Season 1 - Episode 9
Charlie is convinced that a woman who spent the night with him wants to turn their relationship into something serious after she befriends J...
Merry Thanksgiving
Season 1 - Episode 10
Realizing he's losing someone special, Charlie plans a Thanksgiving dinner to convince her he's a family guy and that she should be with him...
Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor
Season 1 - Episode 11
When Alan is surprised to see that Judith has had a makeover and is dating a man, he decides to have Charlie help him transform his image.
Camel Filters and Pheromones
Season 1 - Episode 12
Berta's granddaughter spends the day at Charlie's, which isn't a problem until he learns she's a beautiful, rebellious 16-year-old.
Sarah Like Puny Alan
Season 1 - Episode 13
Charlie nurses an ailing Alan back to health so they can go on a double date with two sisters, one of whom Charlie's been wanting to date fo...
I Can't Afford Hyenas
Season 1 - Episode 14
Charlie's financial manager informs the carefree jingle writer that he spends money faster than his royalty checks come in, and now he must ...
Round One to the Hot Crazy Chick
Season 1 - Episode 15
Charlie invites a mysterious, slightly crazed woman to stay at the house until she can settle some family problems.
That Was Saliva, Alan
Season 1 - Episode 16
Charlie is perplexed when Frankie, the mysterious woman temporarily living in the Harper household, begins falling for Alan and not him.
Ate the Hamburgers, Wearing the Hats
Season 1 - Episode 17
Charlie's still brooding over Alan's choice of their cousin as Jake's guardian if both parents die when the boy has an accident while in his...
An Old Flame with a New Wick
Season 1 - Episode 18
Charlie is stunned to learn his ex-girlfriend is now a man.
I Remember the Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember You
Season 1 - Episode 19
Judith's devious siren sister stirs things up at Jake's 11th birthday party when she hits on Alan. Meanwhile, Evelyn brings alcohol and has ...
Hey, I Can Pee Outside in the Dark
Season 1 - Episode 20
Jake's sullen mood baffles and bothers the family and prompts Alan and Judith to take him to a child psychologist.
No Sniffing, No Wowing
Season 1 - Episode 21
Charlie plays a tricky game when he gets involved with Alan's divorce lawyer, who could make things difficult for Alan if she were, say, dum...
My Doctor Has a Cow Puppet
Season 1 - Episode 22
When Charlie discovers that Alan is sleepwalking, he believes it's related to his brother's lack of sex following his divorce, and comes up ...
Just Like Buffalo
Season 1 - Episode 23
When Jake repeats one of Charlie's sexist remarks in front of Judith's support group, the women convince Judith to stop Jake's visits with h...
Can You Feel My Finger?
Season 1 - Episode 24
Charlie has a pregnancy scare involving one of his one-night stands and decides to go for the big "V," and we're not talking Vegas.